Creating space to harness our full potential

By Shefali Mehta and Elena Tsakakis

As we will soon enter  summer in the northern hemisphere, I am reflecting on our need for space, something not celebrated or even encouraged in our culture.  As Angeles Arrien shares in Living in Gratitude, “In summer, what is out of balance is pulled back into the balance.  Perhaps that is why in summer, particularly after the solstice, we have the modern practice of taking a vacation - vacating or stepping out of our daily routine in order to integrate our experiences.  Summer offers a time to renew our creativity and gain new perspectives.”

All around us, nature moves in cycles with periods of growth and periods of rest.  Varied species share a commonality - phases of growth and rest play critical roles in their existence.  Humans are no different; as biological beings, we evolved with cycles, seasons and shifts.  Yet, in our daily practices and lives, we seem to see ourselves like machines that keep cranking out at a steady pace at all times. We are not surprised when plants do not grow in overcrowded conditions, yet we expect ourselves to flourish and prosper in confinement. 

So many of us struggle to fully take those necessary vacations, step back, create space and rest. With the pain and angst in our current climate, the need feels greater than ever. Even when we know we need it and we feel the need within us, we still fight it. Why?

Through discussions with so many, from different backgrounds, roles and sectors, similar themes emerge. People feel external pressures from social conventions, how their colleagues behave, stated expectations from their peers and families, role modeling their supervisors, the unending sense that there is more work to do.  We feel our own internalized pressures of guilt, shame and fear fueled by our own internal critics.  These internal voices chide us when we attempt to claim the space necessary to build wellness, which effectively makes us stronger for all those around us.  

Throughout my life, I have created space at various times and in a variety of ways. I intentionally shifted many times through the past 25 years. And through those years, I did something that felt very natural to me - I took breaks in the transition points.  From the outside, it may have looked odd, scattered, disjointed; yet for me, each step melded into my overarching aims and journey. The ability to see the seemingly unconventional jumps required taking space to step back and see what has changed in myself, my environment, and the world.  The decisions we make while running full steam ahead may be too closely wedded to the past or the current path, when the future path is where we are meant to be next. 

Like all beings, humans are not machines. Every living being has periods of rest or differing utilization of energy. Our level of consciousness and our ability to connect is so vast and dynamic. Without those periods of rest or shifts in energy, structuring ideas and relationships become increasingly difficult. I’ve learned through periods of change that these moments of space benefit my mental health, my physical health, and my professional competence by providing my body and mind with the active space necessary to reflect and integrate what I’ve learned. The space is necessary to reflect, integrate, and build for what comes next. The ability to take space for yourself is an act of compassion; providing yourself with the space that allows shift and a reallocation of energy. 

Perhaps most importantly, taking the space in transition is a conscious choice, and for many, it can be a difficult one. It can feel uncomfortable to step back and reflect in times of transition, when the norm is chaos and rush. Taking this space is a skill, like so many of our behaviors and choices. Understanding our individual needs takes time. We also live in a system and a society where this is a privilege for many. For me, space means quiet moments alone in nature. It means letting go of projects that no longer fit my needs, but continuing to connect with individuals and ideas that better align with who I am now and where I can best align. For others, space can look and feel quite different. It can be taking time to cook an amazing meal for a friend or the joy of watching your children’s excitement on a family vacation.  It can mean going slower than you’re used to and seeing that as a strength, not a weakness.  It is about setting your own timelines with intention. As we move into the next season of the year, and perhaps into new seasons of our lives, I encourage us to give ourselves permission to find that space, take those moments for ourselves, and look towards what is next with an open mind and armed with the lessons of our past pursuits.

Note: Much of this reflection was originally written and conceptualized with co-author Elena Tsakakis in 2023, while actively in a period of pause and space.  The “pause” was rich and full, creating space for an intentional holistic reconfiguration of all the domains of my personal and professional life.  It was also different from what I thought a “pause” would be as I was active, working with folks, working with clients, traveling.  It shed light on how dynamic a pause can be; much of which feels even more relevant today and prompted us to revisit these ideas once again.