How we work with clients, collaborators and individuals

Some of my observations on consultants—many of whom I enjoy working with and respect—are that they come in with such a strong sense of what needs to happen and a way of doing it that they miss the nuances. The nuances actually have a much more significant impact on the outcome and the solution set than they realize.

It’s not that I don’t have a method—quite the opposite. I come in with a very similar structured methodology and approach that I hold internally. But I hold it much more lightly, in the sense that I give a lot of space for learning and adapting to where my clients and collaborators are. Over the last few years, I’ve really seen this take off. I’m able to bring that structured approach in a way that is quite supportive and melts into the process. We still get the outcome, but in a way that truly creates space for people to come in.

I’ve often worked alongside consultants, including my former colleagues from McKinsey & Company, and I find this to be one of the biggest downfalls of large consulting firm approaches. They’re so dogmatic—which makes sense, because they got to where they are by being very good at what they do. What they’re not great at understanding is when there is a difference from what they did before.

Part of this is learning how to understand and recognize difference. That requires developing really intense skills—skills we never stop building. But to develop them, we first have to understand that they’re needed. Reflecting on my own consulting journey, I didn’t approach things this way in the past. I’ve gotten much stronger, especially in the last few years, in how I bring these capabilities together.

What I now bring—and what I believe is unique—is that I have that incredibly strong, rigorous skill set, structure, and methodology in how I approach strategy, and I combine it with an ability to really float and flow with my clients—finding their uniqueness and bringing that into the mix.

This requires subject matter expertise, but also a fluidity and openness that is distinct.

It’s similar to how I approach coaching. I’ve benefited over the years from receiving coaching from many people and appreciate the structure it brings. The impetus for pursuing certification with Integral Coaching Canada, however, was driven by my desire for continuous learning. I wanted to see how much better I could be. I know that strong coaching allows me to grow myself.

I entered that journey with the intention of being a better teammate, colleague, friend, and family member—and of living a more integrated life aligned with my values and goals.

Through that process, I reflected on my experiences with coaches and others in similar roles—consultants, therapists, healers, and those providing supporting, guiding, or advising services. I noticed the following:

1. They can be quite dogmatic

They come in with a strong structure and hypothesis and bypass really listening and understanding what’s happening in front of them, leaving little space for learning and openness.

2. Understanding that what shows up may not be

What’s on the surface is often an outcome of something else or symptomatic. We are complex and multifaceted, yet many people put too much weight on the initial things that come up and miss the space to go below the surface and understand what’s actually driving it. This leads to ineffective outcomes or missed opportunities for true change and impact.

3. Projection of experience

It is human nature to project our own experiences onto the person we’re working with and to read through that lens. Neurologically, this is how we’re programmed—we learn by linking to existing patterns. But that requires creating space and openness so we’re not simply projecting.

4. Projection of our own insecurities, issues, problems, and guilt/traumas

We are all human and working through our own things. Even highly advanced practitioners will say they are still working on themselves. It’s important not to project this. I’ve experienced this quite a bit, and earlier in my career I didn’t always know how to advocate for myself or discern when it was happening. I can now see it clearly.

5. Inability to really understand that different people are different people

Different people need different approaches and modalities. We each come with our own. Many practitioners are so beholden to their one approach that there isn’t space for difference.

6. There’s not a lot of understanding of what it takes to truly heal

To acknowledge, process, heal, change, metabolize, and translate that into action takes time. There is often a tendency to say, “Here’s the solution, now go do it,” without recognizing that it doesn’t work that way. No system—human or otherwise—works that way.

On the systems side, we understand this. For example, in soil health, farmers using cover crops will say it takes at least three years to see change—often five to seven. They are not judging biology; they are working with it.

Humans are no different. We are complex biological systems. Recognizing that change takes time is critical. Yet, in over 20 years, I’ve seen very little attention paid to this.

I’ve recently worked with a neurologist, Dr. Jennings at Anova Concussion Clinic, who has been excellent in acknowledging this. It’s not pessimistic—it’s realistic, and it reduces pressure and guilt.

When this isn’t acknowledged, it often creates judgment: if change doesn’t happen quickly, something must be wrong with the individual. That’s not accurate.

7. Recognizing that they may not be the right ones

Very few people say, “We can help you here, but not here—let’s help you find what you need.” It takes security and groundedness to do that, and it often runs counter to business models.

Closing Reflection

These are the seven observations I’ve developed over 25 years of working across many areas. It’s work I’ve actively tried to shift in how I engage with clients.

It has taken time. I’ve spent several years evolving my business and being more intentional about who I work with. I’ve always intended to be a boutique, niche firm, and I now see that fully coming through. That alignment allows me to address these seven issues in a way that supports real outcomes.

What I’m describing is not easy. It takes a lot of work. I invest a tremendous amount of time with my clients, and my relationships tend to be long because this kind of change does not happen quickly.

That said, I also have coaching clients with shorter timelines where we see meaningful results, because individuals can move at their own pace. The key is that I am moving with them.

If I were to use an analogy—whether dancing or rowing—it is coordinated and responsive. It is something we do together.